Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Rob Base and DJ E Z Rock


What, pray tell, does Rob Base have to do with any of this? I'm so glad you asked!
They created the ever-prescient song Joy and Pain, the gist of which is, not a big surprise, the omnipresent duality in life...."sunshine, and rain" as is sung. And so it is with not a little unclarity that we commemorate the passing of my mother on this day, two years ago. We had a strange relationship that felt to me often that just calling on the phone was to stick my hand blindly into a basket of rattlesnakes. Perhaps not the most pleasant of images, but apt nonetheless. She had baggage that predated my birth, baggage that weighed so very heavily on her daily, baggage that I somehow managed to get packed into apparently from the moment of birth. I have not unwound the ball of emotional yarn even nearly yet, what with all the knots and snarls.
At our worst, I feared her more than any human on the earth, and her proclivity for emotionally filleting me was second to none. I was the bag she beat on, the dog she kicked at the end of a bad day. I never reached the apogee of hatred, per se, but rather remained bewildered and groping in a haze of constant surprise (naïveté on my part, to be sure).
Nor do I think, presently, she necessarily hated me, which offers some comfort. My mother was a devestatingly sad and injured soul wandering this earth, and I was merely a reminder of many sad and injurious years of her life, and it has taken many years just to understand this part, and now to begin to unravel the truth that that was not my fault. Powerful stuff on those days I can remain in that vibration.
I look back with some genuine fondness nowadays. She was, after all is said and done, my mother; I was of her flesh and blood and bone. Being a parent, I understand that there are profound implications of love that run deeper and broader than any human spectrum can comprehend between a child and its parent, and she most certainly posessed that love as well. And perhaps now that I am a modicum wiser, a bit more sure of myself, I even miss her. I loved her profoundly always on earth, and I love her even more now.
To my mother: we never had it easy, and we did the very best we could with the strengths and weaknesses we had. I hope you look as fondly on me and my family as we look to you. It was an honor and a real blessing to be with you at the time of your passing, and I thank you for allowing us to be there. I love you so very much, and I am working diligently on genuine forgiveness. I hope you're well and learning all you need in the loving hands of God, in tender Mercy and infinite Grace.
Joy and pain, sunshine and rain.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Hard time with this ship.

Okay, here we go. The seas are rough, brothers and sisters, have no doubt. Why must this world be like this, you may find yourself asking, to which I've come to respond, "It's not the world, it's society" that shapes the crests and deep-bellied troughs. Staring out over an ocean of mediocrity and expenditure of energy to increase capital for wealthy capitalists, and the ebb of economic tides sends us plebian crabs skittering for any ort of paying labor we can manage to grasp in our atrophying claws. The neap of available workforce delights the hungry gulls on the shoreline, a workforce wide-eyed, scared, and lost in the twilight of confusion and fear that has obscured the warm sunlight of security like pollution being pumped from the factory stacks inland.
I don't like the idea that now we work for medical benefits, job security, and lowered wages in exchange for a bonded family and joyous life. "Are you willing to work 60 hours per week?", "Are you willing to work nights, weekends, and holidays?" These ubiquitous queries are, and with full intention, emotional tenderizers preparing the unfortunate candidate for the fires of the oven.
Wanna jump on the big American cruise ship of capitalism? Get ready for a harsh dose of spiritual scurvy, mateys.

Thursday, January 22, 2009


The breakfast was a rousing success, with total net donation to the family over $700. The event was covered by no fewer than five media sources, including the two newspapers in the area, and we all had a really great time doing it. We served more than our goal of 100 people and hope to make it a regular event. Feels pretty good!
We kept the children home from school on Tuesday so they could witness all the history unfolding with us at home. For all the bane attached to the television (not the least of which from within these very walls), we were very grateful to have had access to the events of the day from the warmth of our own home. Amidst all the tears of peace and joy, the cheering and clapping and general hooting and hollaring, I think we all came away with something that will live like Emily Dickinson's bird of poem in our hearts for the rest of our lives.
Let's carry this pervasive energy of hope and compassion for as long as our spirits are able.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Sharing the Dream

Don't forget that in revernce for the late Dr. King, the holiday celebrated as "Martin Luther King, Jr. Day" was established as a national holiday (day off from work) in order for Americans to be of service to their communities and beyond.
Anyone local can come to St. Peter's from 8 until 11 in the morning Monday, where Marcy and has organized a pancake breakfast under the auspices of the Youth Group. The idea being that one should have a hearty breakfast prior to undertaking a day of service. 100% of the proceeds will benefit the family in Chatham that lost their home to fire recently. With an infant and two older children, the total loss has been even more devestating for the family to bear. Many local service-providers and retailers have generously donated thus far, with both financial capital and locally-grown/produced goods. More than a hundred are expected, and we'll be ready for even more, so don't be shy!
For my friends more far-flung, what a terrific opportunity to show gratitude and Grace in action. Rock on! Change is the popular contemporary mantra, and all change starts from within, so why not get out there and help someone else. God knows we all need to...nothing, absolutely nothing, compares to the feeling of selfless giving, and Monday is the opportunity to just get on board and do it...and all in the memory of a gifted and brilliant leader.

Have a blast out there with your friends and neighbors!