Boo....or some such jeer

As my illustrious compadre Zee pointed out in his demented blog, we worked a few days in a house that, while I wouldn't neccesarily call 'haunted', I have gone on record as saying that it is the third most repulsive house (energetically) that I have worked on. Here's a quick hit-list of the places and the issues at hand...because it's interesting and I know how interested you must be.

Ahem...

#1 on the list goes to a house and property purchased by my dear friend Peter. Great guy with a truly wonderful vision, he picked up this dilapidated property for under a hundred Gs for it's proximity to the village of Great Barrington. Good, sound investment. However, the man that lived there for the last number of decades was, well, ill. He had numerous knives and other interesting weapons laying about, he rarely left the house and when he did it involved a bit of vulgarity and yelling. The floors (what was left of them) were coated with feces and urine from what we hope and assume were animals. Oh yeah, you also could only walk through the house on either story by means of a narrow meandering path through garbage bags filled with...you guessed it...garbage. All kinds of decaying masses. I could go on, because believe it or not, there's more to it, but for the sake of brevity, I'll end the description there.

At any rate, I worked on the house after he purchased it for one and a half days with one other person before I had to bag it. And I had no problem telling him that the dark, violent, threatening energy about the place was going to be a tough one to contend with, but it ended there. Last I knew the village had it condemned and Peter was left holding the bag on it.

#2 is kind of an odd one. I was working with Michael and we went to get a material list/etc together for a job out in Connecticut somewhere. The place was out in the middle...no, the far reaches...of nowhere and it was huge. The owners were some kind of billionaires and they had the house and the property to prove it. Well, I'll keep this one short by saying that on the way home, after a few hours wandering around the house, I mentioned that I wasn't going to be going back there. Michael was incredulous. Red-faced, he stammered his query as best he could in an attempt to ascertain what I was talking about. I said quite simply that "that house is like the pit of ultimate darkness or something. It's like a swirling vortex of misery and evil." And it was, and I didn't go back there, and I left that job a month later.

#3 I'm sorry to say goes to the home of someone I cared a great deal for. (This is the one Zee is referring to.) When I was asked to come to the house it was to see if I could somehow repair the damage done by the former owners. I won't even get in to specifics, but I managed to glean a lot of emotional and energetic information from the first two weeks I was there. The man and woman were bitterly divorcing, the kids (I'm guessing the girl at 14 and the boy a bit younger) were trying to be kids but were fighting the undertow of what was going on with the adults. Was the energy there already and affected the family? I'll likely never know, but I'm pretty confident I've got this family dynamic down. So they bought this house from this divorcing couple to house their infirmed and elderly mother. I grew so very, very fond of the mother, Jane, while I was there. She even attended my baptism in the river. She was so lonely in that house, but also so very frail and ailing. When she was able to get out of bed, she would show me old photographs and we would talk about those times and what everyone was like, etc. But for the most part she was asleep or just unwilling to get out of bed. Her son visited once a day at 5 p.m. for ten minutes or so...otherwise she was on her own. I cried a couple of times on the way home, feeling so fucking helpless to do more for her.

Jane ended up going into the hospital for a while. In the meantime, Grace from church was diagnosed with an aggressive, swiftly terminal brain cancer at the same time her husband left her and she lost her house and farm. She has two teenaged children who I imagine are pretty lost and confused and sad and angry and all that stuff right now. Anyway, we ended up moving them into Jane's house two weekends ago on a Sunday after church, and things seemed okay except that they can only stay there for two weeks. Why? I haven't the faintest idea. So Zee and I were working in this energetically challenged house, being asked to install horrible, garbage material with the misguided notion that they were saving money, and basically feeling pretty shitty about that aspect alone. But then Zee made the comment that he felt like he was going to need a psychiatrist after this job, and it struck me that he was feeling that repulsive energy.

This job seems to drag on interminably slowly, to our chagrin, and we still have another day or two up there before it's done. On the upside, the heat is off us for a little while, the downside being that the heat is off us for a while because Grace will have been moved out again and Jane passed away on Thursday night.

Those are the top three most energetically challenged houses I've worked in, and I hope they remain there.

So, for the big money, the big kahuna, the big cheese, the salt and the pepper, the jock to your strap, ladies and gentlemen, I give you today's Trick Pony Contest! Yes, that's right, let yourselves go wild, you deserve it! Yeah!

Okay, today's contest, my little chiquita bananas, requires some thought.

Twelve men (or women, or a mixed group, I don't care) hear what sounds like someone eating celery behind them. They turn and see nothing but a squirrel wrapped in a Wendy's napkin, struggling to free himself. One person from the group frees it, only to be bitten on the tip of the thumb. Later that evening, this person thinks he hears the word 'penis' in a conversation that also includes his name. When he goes downstairs to check it out, he finds no one there, but the refrigerator door is wide open. As he closes it, what happens to him?

a) the door seems to whisper, "sinep"

b) something invariably and totally immaturely involving his penis, right?

c) he's teleported to the bathroom

d) [please, I insist, enter your own answer for 'd']

Winners of this one will be handsomely rewarded for their perseverance with something, perhaps even something wrapped in a Wendy's napkin....good luck bubby.