All I'm really saying, at the end of all the tumult and unrest, is that this baby, this angel descended on Earth, has shown me under no false pretenses nor uncertain terms what Love that eternally pulses from the heart of the Universe (could read 'God' if you like) is real and can absolutely sweep you away once you let go and get caught up in it. This baby has changed my life and my outlook (as well as priorities and anything else we can conjure to espouse) so completely that the world is just plain different now. Period. An infinite Gratitude to Mother/Father God from this mortal for the gifts. My family, my teachers, my friends and acquaintences right down to that woman that rang me out at the market this evening. Thank you. Never, ever ending possibilities and alternatives, choices and perdicaments, thank you. It really hurts sometimes, and I get so deeply down and beaten and weary, but when I have the strength to call upon the All, I'm reminded to slow down, to recognize (literally 're-cognize') my surroundings, and at last to remember Gratitude for the lessons and the strength and wisdom that comes with it.
I've gotten back into reading the works of my friend Bill W. and Dr. Bob, and it really helps to soothe my worried mind. My wife and I were just discussing late last night that we were so screwed into a tight spot, that we had few options and we just didn't know what we were going to do. I reminded us that it's rarely very smooth for us and that we have to work so hard for everything we earn, every inch we climb, and that it'll mean so much more that way in the end anyway. My morning meditation that I shared regarded the reality of turning it over, not being so caught up in the drama of fear that we forget that God is doing for us what we can't do for ourselves, and from addiction to getting up in the morning (which can be a real challenge at the nadir) it rings true...at least for me.
So yes, we're in a spot that I don't ever want to feel again, and by the Grace of God and the Loving Wisdom that is forever bestowed unto us, we won't have to do this or feel this again. We need only to learn this one. No small chore, but we're fuckin' tough, both of us, and we've got each other 100%, and we pull the kids in tight and let Rosco off the leash and we're good to go. We'll do this, we will learn this lesson, and we will heal the wounds we've sustained in the getting here.
I would really love to share with you this parting prayer, as offered to us a couple of weeks ago:
Great God, in Christ you set us free,
Your life to live, Your joy to share.
Give us Your Spirit's liberty
To turn from guilt and dull despair,
And offer all that faith can do
While Love is making all things new.
It's at the Heart of the Universe, sometimes when the mind is quiet we can really feel it. My hope for you is to sense this Love, and may the awareness carry you into the world filled with spirit, with love and appreciation of everyone else you meet, and the faith turn knowledge that you are known and loved.
Amen.
2 comments:
beautiful baby
i had two little rituals when my babies were still under my wing. one was to tiptoe in their room before i went to bed each night, tuck the covers close around them, sneak a kiss and thank the universe for them. the second was to watch them toddle, wander, sashay, depending on age.... off to school or where ever they were headed. i'd watch them till they were out of sight, and ask the universe to take good care of them, and keep them safe. i still do number 2 each time we part.
it's very big stuff, letting your heart wander the big, scary world outside of your body.
Very big stuff indeed, and in the spirit of humility, I think I've spent a bit of time in the past paying lip-service to just how far out my emotional tentacles had reached. And by the Grace of God, still learning and growing.
Seems like there are myriad applications to the notion of 'heart-wandering' (wow! I LOVE that expression!). And maybe as we grow to love our 'selves' (ego, id, the whole shootin' match) as we love, say, our children, the more diligence we'll have in recognizing and acting upon this love in the form of our passions, which may be the very unique and special role we're to play while we're here, now, anyway.
Makes me wanna take off from my job tomorrow and have a picnic canoe trip with the whole fam! Therein lies my passion, and what a unique role to my wife and kiddos that is....
Thanks g, hope your day is warm and relaxed and that you remember to feel exactly where your feet are tomorrow. (It's a nice reminder sometimes, I find.)
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